With the success of my original post Inappropriate Halloween Costumes, I’ve decided to trumpet my findings of this season’s worst Halloween attire once a week until October 31st. In my stats I discovered that someone had found my blog by keying in the terms “Sting Ray Costume.” Now that is really inappropriate. I haven’t been able to find one online, thank god, but unfortunately have unearthed the following accoutrements which redefine tackiness, tactlessness and all-around bad taste:
1. Lucky Charms Leprechaun (www.timeofyear.com). What a way to get in the ghoulish Halloween spirit with this colorful bright green General Mills breakfast cereal costume. The only way this ensemble would be at all of interest is if those purple horseshoes, yellow stars and blue moons were actually made of marshmallows. If I saw this thing skipping down the sidewalk, I would steal its bag of candy. Magically moronic.
2. Missing Child Milk Carton Mask (www.costumes4less.com). Of course you need some milk to go with those Lucky Charms. But this? Seems like the person making fun of missing and exploited children on Halloween is just begging to get kidnapped.
3. Slim Jim Costume (www.buycostumes.com). Simple – if you wear this, you’re a loser.
4. Donald Rumsfeld Mask (www.anytimecostumes.com). Bone-chilling. Almost too bone-chilling. If I met this thing in a dark alley, I’d throw Rummy the bag of candy I stole from the Lucky Charms Leprechaun and run screaming in the opposite direction.
5. Osama Bin Laden Mask (www.chamberofhorrors.com). Who wants to get the crap beat out of them on Halloween? If that sounds like you then order this Osama Bin Laden mask. A carry-along dialysis machine would make a nice touch too.
6. Soldier Baby Costume (www.buycostumes.com). Ever feel like a baby could run a better war than the current administration? Order this adorable camouflaged soldier costume for your infant and start ‘em early on military indoctrination. A mini Uzi would add that extra-special tastelessness to this already horrifying outfit.
7. Robert E. Lee Costume for Child (www.buycostumes.com). Just in case you haven’t humiliated your children enough, dress up baby’s big brother in an authentic Robert E. Lee period costume. Boy does this child model look happy to be wearing this one.
Ay yi yi… stay tuned for more unbelievably awful Halloween costumes!
Filed under: Halloween
