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    Inappropriate Halloween Costume 2008
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Books ‘n’ Crooks

I popped into the local Barnes and Noble after one too many cannibalizing moments making my movie – hoping for more stimuli than my spiral notebook reminding me of my hack-dom. The first thing I notice upon entering the store: a middle-aged security guard lurking around the foyer, keeping an awfully close eye on the discount fiction rack. Very strange. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a security guard all dressed up in official-looking garb so blatantly patrolling the floor. This particular Barnes and Noble is in a good neighborhood, 2 blocks from the city police station and right across the street from Ikea. But perhaps there’s more biblioklepts running around than I realize? The whole incident left me paranoid and unsettled. Especially since, as usual, they didn’t even have the book I wanted: Marisha Pessl’s Special Topics in Calamity Physics.

So I detoured over to Sav-On to get something crappy to feed my disappointment. I tore into a box of animal crackers. The inner wax-bag was already partially open but I ate the cookies anyway… until I saw one shaped like a dinosaur. When the heck did the Ringling Brothers introduce dinosaurs to their sideshow? The whole thing weirded me out so I threw away the box.

Also, I discovered something potentially explosive about my old friend Dirk. He is 3 years older than I thought. The social implications are really quite gross. I want to ask some other old friends about this but there’s been a lot of inaneness in recent times and hardly anybody talks anymore. My top guesses for the missing years are: cult, summer school, prison.


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