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Jane Magazine Reeks

Jane magazine = Crap. I originally wrote CARP which probably would’ve been more interesting. And reminiscent of my former boss Grossfeld, a needy neurotic mess, who in a stunning display of self-trumpeting intelligence would tell our celebrity clients to “carpe demon.”

So every time Jane gets stuffed in my mailbox (another courtesy of the old speed-freak across the hall) I flip through the pages to see if it’s still garbage. In short, yes. In long, the older version of the mag used to carry an interesting feature or two about progressive issues but has since cut out all the edgy journalism to increase its circulation and appeal to a wider, stupider audience. Shame, shame, shame on their success. Something clearly was amiss in 2002 with the introduction of Pamela Anderson’s barely readable column. Although the editors had the foresight to discontinue that abomination, all that’s left now is a bland, glossy, advert- wannabequippy- whocaresaboutyourhelengurlysextricks- blahblahblahcosmetics- wouldn’ttrustyoutopickmyentertainment waste of human enterprise. This month’s issue carries a “Fashion Supplement” which solely consists of pre-fab publicity stills and inane blurbs about Marc Jacobs crushing on Rufus Wainwright. These are all passed off as actual photo shoots. Yak.

Stop feeding humanity Styrofoam. Dolphins will enslave us.

P.S. I’ve successfully demystified babied cousin Keylle about the realities of Laguna Beach. I’ve done my part. Please do yours.


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