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A Good Deed

This afternoon after returning from the crappy Target that that’s turning into a pretty decent-looking Target (even the inside too… we all had doubts for a while) I did my good deed for today. But first, about the newly remodeled Target, artistically I enjoy those gigantic red cinnamon cement balls used out front for force protection but I would think that they could afford at least one more cinnamon ball on either side. I know these days, especially in this town, that people love their Hummers but there are some of us who drive small cars. Really, really small cars. My car could easily drive right through those two balls and engage in a smash and grab. Granted, I’m not too sure that its framework would be strong enough to bash through the doors but perhaps under the right circumstances… daytime robbery, an accomplice signals the door sensors, and BAM! I could drive my car right into the Junior’s department and make off with all sorts of Xhilaration hot pants and shrugs. Just something I wish they would’ve considered before committing to their final design. Particularly since Target Corp., world-class security and management specialists, trains the FBI. No joke, this is old news.

[Considering a career in federal service, perhaps? Unkie Sam is looking for a Combating WMD Planner.]

Anyway, back to my good deed. As I was returning home from the once-crappy Target, a transient man with stringy brown-grey hair, a white t-shirt, athletic socks and no shoes, kept throwing himself into the path of oncoming traffic in a major intersection. This happened repeatedly. As I inched my vehicle around him, he jerked spastically and argued with an invisible friend over his left shoulder. He reversed course to better be broadsided by a Hummer. I called the police and let them know that someone with either mental or drug problems was getting busy dying by Target. They said they were on it. I wondered if this was a situation where I should have called the “authorities” and decided, heck, if I want to use my tax bucks to help someone not die, then that’s what I’m going to do. With amazing speed reserved only for non-life threatening circumstances they quickly informed me that an officer had checked out the scene to find the transient… not there. Well, I said, I guess he sucessfully crossed the road.

Now I can rest.

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