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The Doctor and the Doomsday Machine

Call him Dr. Bertie. After years and years of party-throwing, beach-going, sailing, surfing and occasionally lab working, Bertie defended his dissertation on the fascinating topic of spin engineering in magnetic quantum well structures. Word is that Bertie and his group were the first to observe something scientifically relevant and exciting. Nobel prize winners willingly came to his dissertation defense. I snuck in for the last half of his jam-packed presentation and didn’t understand one word of it. His advisers signed off on his Ph.D. and he took us on a lab tour, explaining science and the inner-workings of billion-dollar Doomsday Machines.

Science Lab

We played with lasers, huge canisters of nitrogen, strange pliable metals, hazardous materials and contamination alarms. Science is fun! I enjoyed seeing postcards of our movie stuck to Bertie’s workspace.

The after-party, a typical Berto blowout held in the Boogie Nights House with the odd succulent landscaping, observation tower, malevolent 10-man jacuzzi and his and hers dressing rooms, was a verifiable success. Visiting with Captain Al the Kiddies’ Pal and his Squadron of Wild Things was a hyperactive delight. The Peruvian man sweater withstood the roast and Robotron made off with another wolf shirt.

The combined IQ of the guests – a few of who have been passed out at some point in my apartment – must surely have reached the upper trillions. The scientist:non-scientist ratio was around 20:1. I was exposed to more science and math in one day that I had been in the past 15 years. My brain kinda hurts.


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