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Mother Russia’s Oak Root Cure

I had a dream that I was drinking a cold glass of burning poison. I was in a deep sleep-state usually characterized (and much witnessed)  by me profusely speaking aloud.  I poured water down my throat to no result. Awake and groggy, I researched my condition and found it to be a side effect of extended antibiotic use. Damn it. As 50% of the Russians in the apartment are doctors, I utilized this resource. I received a translated oft-prescribed home remedy:

  • Vitamin B
  • Baking Soda Gargle
  • Oak Root Slurry
  • Brush teeth and sterilize toothbrush after every meal
  • repeat 5 X day
  • no juices, acidic or spicy foods

I will try this regiment for two weeks and will hopefully be cured. I will probably substitute the Oak Root Slurry with herbal teas and Listerine treatment. I will try not to fall further apart.

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