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A Spy, A Hitchhiker, A Tumbleweed and Me

Mikey says I should become an international spy instead of bankrupting myself on overseas adventures because the CIA is heavily recruiting and I am awfully stealthy. As UAKP says, “to the point of being furtive” except that he’s talking about The Machine. But I don’t think that I’d make a good spy because I am awfully paranoid. Like a few years ago, I discovered a piece of highly classified information pertinent to well, never mind, and fell into a three-month-long mental episode.

It all came to a head in a casino across the street from Area 51 where a shoeless man in a cream-colored suit, matching Stetson, unbuttoned shirt revealing a really hairy chest adorned with heavy gold chains, was hitchhiking. Confessing cartoons on local fliers rolled with the tumbleweed down the otherwise abandoned street. I turned to someone – I forget who – and asked if we should perhaps give him a lift. The answer was an unabashed look of disgust. I then realized that maybe I’d be alright after all.


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