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Writing the Movie

I don’t really know what to write about today so I’ll give an update about what’s happening with the movie. I’m still working on the script. I’m blobbing it out somewhere around page 50. I’ve made a resolution that for the next two weeks I’ll write 5 pages a day which will bring me just about where I want to be. Of course at 5 pages a day, the last half is going to be complete crap because I tend to work writing 2 pages at a time, then re-editing everything before it. Not really a good system but I just can’t STAND having crap marinating on the horizon. Today, I worked in a new plot device that I think might be good but usually when I think something is nifty I go back the next day and say, wow, this stinks!

Currently, I’m feeling good about the project. I keep having to tell myself, okay, you can write. You can write. And then replay those “brilliant” comments that sometimes seem meaningless in their prevalence. I tend to think anyone who calls my work brilliant is rather illiterate. I like to write to amuse or surprise myself or occasionally to amuse or surprise compadres. I don’t think I could have any other motivation to write. I don’t like expectations which I think is due to a neurotic self confidence thing. Sometimes I’ll look at a finished piece and the end result is so mysterious that I hardly know how I could dream something like it up.

I don’t find creative pursuits to be particularly cathartic experiences. Creativity strips me to the bare bones and leaves me so discombobulated that I’ll freak out if so much as a leaf falls on on the ground the “wrong” way. Maybe if I became a Buddhist I’d learn how to keep it together when I’m doing these creative things because right now I feel completely wild and out of control. Who knows why I keep coming back for more?

What’s kind of f-ed up is that for a long time I thought that writing was one of the more mundane and uninteresting activities one could master.

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