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My Life as a Juror

Guess who got summoned for jury duty again? NOOOOOOOO!!! This frequency is due to one of (or a combination of) four circumstances:

  1. I’m on the competent juror list because of my prior service.
  2. California’s jury selection system is a bit different from other states in that you only show up for one day (not a whole week) and if you’re not placed on a trial or in a pool by the end of that day, you’re free.
  3. My particular area has been targeted. Mikey received a summons last week.
  4. Bad karma. After Mikey receive his summons, I laughed at him and said my chances of being called within the next 20 years are nil. (Even though I know, I know you can be called sooner than a year after you’ve last served. Jerks.)

I am totally freaked out about being called for service again because:

  1. I am still scarred from my prior service. Days upon days were dedicated to the following topics: The layout of the Chips and Nuts aisle at the Figueroa 7-11. Whether the tires made a Vroom Vroom! or an EEEE! sound as they were peeling out of the parking lot. Whether the witness was in the Back Room or Bathroom. It turned out that the Bathroom was in the Back Room.
  2. Johnson’s Ghetto Boyfriend said that his uncle had to be a juror on a gang banger trial and the jurors were placed under protective custody. The rest of the gang bangers would come to court and stare them down everyday.
  3. People are prone to get shot at courthouses around here.
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