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EXGF of MF Freaks

‘k, so I had to cut R out of my life b/c her psychosis was entirely too much to be embroiled in on a daily basis. I tried to give a go of it, allowing R to crash at my digs after her vacation with the dominatrix and the ass-talking fire-eating harlequin turned sour. “They’re always at karate!”, she whined. I drove all the way down to the flippin’ LBC and picked her up. After many horrible life decisions, negativity, crying, freak-outs, stranger make-outs placed higher than our friendship, inability to keep a confidence (I know WAYYY too much about every man, woman and thing ever ensnared in her orbit than I EVER wanted to know!) and condescentions later, I had to give up. I kindly requested, just illuminating the negativity hampering my life’s peace factor, that we part ways. She obliged. So I thought.

A few weeks ago, I was included on a massive mail-out (one of 30 names) regarding a detailed description about how R had suffered epileptic seizure (after all, she is epileptic) and was flunking out of vet school. Negativity —> Baby Hatchetface’s Life’s Peace. I suppose I would feel differently if, say, two or three people were e-mailed this information but, I don’t know, 30 seems a little… extravagant. “I’m so miserable! I’m going to exploit this opportunity! Give me attention!”

Anyway, I’m not a total ass cheese so I wrote back some kind condolences and best wishes. After all, I have known people to have had seizures before (in fact my pal Polly suffers very severe PKU of which a direct bridge can be laid to ketogenic diet control and prevention). So… R has now taken to writing me, apparently having learned NOTHING from the first time around. I mean, really, I could give a flying flip whom she’s involved with. She always emotes, “This is the one, he’s so nice, we’re going to get married, barf, barf, barf.” and then acts like a total wacko and they break up. I suppose that’s her bad father relationship speaking. But really, if they’re just going to end up on the trash heap, why even involve me?

So, in conclusion, I feel like it’s best for both R and I to not rekindle our friendship until one of us (her) gets some serious (electroshock) therapy. Good thing I’ve got great follow-through.


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