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    Inappropriate Halloween Costume 2008
    Inappropriate Halloween Costumes 2007 Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5, Part 6, Part 7 and Part 8.
    Inappropriate Halloween Costumes 2006 Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7 and Part 8.

Mystery Jesus?

Perhaps this is just one of those small town things but for the past three months, everywhere I go in this dang place I see the same Mystery German lurking in corners.  I don’t think he’s stalking me (despite my best townie friend’s concern that he’s an attractive hustler of women); rather, I believe it to be a case of bizarre coincidence.  Once, I heard him being grilled by a chatty patron of the Hippie Dome who asked him what brought him here and he grizzled, “an accident” and offered no more.  Then I easedropped some weeks later that he may be on his way to Cuba and / or rennovating local kitchens.

Evidence that he’s a drifter:

  • wears the same clothes
  • saw him sleeping in the library
  • appears to lack commitments

Evidence that he’s not a drifter:

  • drinks  expensive coffee
  • saw him in a bar with a cover charge; albeit it was only $2

In the chance that he is a stalker, I, unbeknownst to him, snapped a photograph of him in a crowd which turned out rather like something out of a dossier of international intrigue.  That doesn’t make me a stalker now, does it?

In any event, last evening the plot thickened.  I turned on the 1.5 station television set and one of the many infomercials that the locals broadcast flickered across the screen.  This one was for a free “Jesus Christ” film from the Church of Latter Day Saints.  In the dramatization footage of Jesus’s life, a medium shot revealed a character (either pre-preaching Jesus or an anguished leper) that looks exactly like the Mystery German. 

What does this all mean?

Another Amusement

Something else that amused me:

I know he had six girlfriends, three children by three different women (including one he didn’t acknowledge), held a gun to his ex-girlfriend’s head and said he worked for Ford when he was really just illegally collecting disability, but I’ve never before seen a butt look that good in a pair of jeans.

Yee Haw

My favorite thing so far about Polly’s visit:

I wasn’t drunk when I fell off my horse. I was just really tired.

Backsass and Sabotage in the Workplace

Kapalm can’t get along with others. But we’re still pals. Kapalm deep-sixed Breezer who returned from the Peace Corps with a major torch for her. Breezer always irked me with his aggressive naievete. Kapalm always gets in trouble with the “man” for failing to rein in her back-sassiness in the face of shadiness. Or obstacles which, agreed, is problematic.

I prefer to utilize tactics of making the “man” unwittingly sabotage himself. Unfortunately in my self-employment, I am unable to enjoy such comforts so I resort to sharing plots with Kapalm. I tell her to request a copy of her HR file as per the California Labor Code so she can begin writing rebuttals.

Kpalm loves The United States, Texas, Hair Metal Bands, The Bush Family, Dogs, Fajitas, Guns, Lifetime and Horror Movies.

Scientifically Strange

Helloha! Just thought I’d share the not-so-new news that Baby Hatchetface is by nature an outcast sporting a personality type represented by less than 2% of the population while the rest of you drones are exponentially more alike. We fringers “value our integrity a great deal, but we have intricately woven, mysterious personalities which sometimes puzzle even us.” We also “have strong empathic abilities and can become aware of another’s emotions or intentions – good or evil – even before that person is conscious of them.” (source) “Accurately suspicious about others’ motives, we are not easily led. We are the people that you can rarely fool any of the time. Though affable and sympathetic to most, we are selective about our friends. Such a friendship is a symbiotic bond that transcends mere words.” (source) Would the rest of the INFJs holla! Wait, don’t! I’m sending you a telepathic message. Doo da doo. And send.

Trapped in the Terrarium

Sometimes I feel like TJ.

TJ in Terrarium

Snakes on the mind.

Hansly Wood, Party Liaison, rings me with an invitation to see Snakes on a Plane. I had been interested to see if it’s worth the hype (also, the flick is showing at The Grove where, according to Gawker, his dirty hotness Adrian Grenier was once spotted) so I agree. Tonight The Grove is crawling in all its artificial glory. I almost get run over by the trolley people-watching some people-watchers. Packed theater. Luckily Hansly and his Posse of Reality All-Stars saved me a seat. Immediately the audience is outs of control – chanting, cheering, hissing, that sort of thing. Give me an S. S. Give me an S. S. Give me another S. S. What does that spell? SSSS! Somebody mentions a sequel, Cougar on a Greyhound. THAT I want to see. As a movie Snakes is ridiculous, outrageous, cheesy, funny, bad. Three cheers for Sammy L and Juliana Margulies for signing on. A great picture to see with wild geeks. A bad picture to see otherwise. I’m almost sad that I didn’t think of it. I enjoyed the silly music video, too. I skip the post-Snakes bar going even though Hansly has in tow a total cutie I had a fascinating two sentence conversation with. I drive home and muse about the weirdness of Hollywood with an almost detached feeling of nostalgia.