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    Inappropriate Halloween Costume 2008
    Inappropriate Halloween Costumes 2007 Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5, Part 6, Part 7 and Part 8.
    Inappropriate Halloween Costumes 2006 Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7 and Part 8.

Inappropriate Halloween Costume 2008

As y’all can deduce, I wasn’t going to run this series this year because of lack of adequate technology, time, and personal horrors great and small but… but… but… yesterday, as I was driving my Granny through the deep, dark, woods, an old Buick thundered by us from the opposite direction of a no-lane road like a demon from hell.  It was being driven by this:

Now I did a quick search for “The Joker Halloween Costume” and the results were bountiful. Plenty of retail outlets are selling The Dark Knight: Joker costumes for adults and children (good lord!) alike. But, obviously, to me at least, far better (and more inappropriate with their reality) costumes can be fashioned, as I witnessed on that fateful day, with a few gobs of makeup and a twisted personality.

‘Til we meet again in 2009.

Getting Schooled, Northwoods Style

Here I am, in class at the local community college, expecting to learn about the fine art of embroidering stuff with porcupine quills.  And oh, do I ever get my money’s worth.  You see, included in the nominal cost of tuition is full instruction on how to drag a road-killed porcupine off the pavement (by hooking your fingers underneath its thumbs – and avoiding the DNR) and, once it’s safely in a ditch, how to pluck the choicest quills off of it’s neck, shoulders and side.  Of course, if you don’t have the time to do it right then and there, you can lift Porky into your automobile, hoist it into your garage and then heave it into your freezer for later dealings.

And dont’cha know that porcupine meat is the only kind of woodland meat which can be eaten raw because its intestines don’t contain parasites?  So if you see one, lead it in a circle or figure 8 and it’ll soon grow tired and fall down.  Then you can rip into its soft belly with your bare hands.

I suppose my (woman) instructor is what is known as a survivalist.

Prairie Diaries

Yesterday I spent four hours manning a smoldering trash heap with a pitchfork.

The Blood Runneth Cold

The mercury dropped to 32 degrees this morning as I stepped outside to admire the first rays of sunlight in days.  Sure, I thought, it was ever frosty but it just didn’t occur to me to put on a coat.  Wisconsin, I have arrived.

What a Beef

Now really, could I ever, in my wildest, wildest dreams concoct a scene where one walks into a German pub / biergarten in Northern Wisconsin and beholds 2 300+ pound Wisconsin fratties, 2 100 pound emos, 3 50-year-old J. “what is, he a used car salesman?” Looneybird clones, 1 dude in a cowboy had, 1 cancer patient, 2 Harley Davidson bikers, and a chick playing a tambourine bumping and grinding to a live band on top of a table, beneath 2 armored knights and precariously close to a glass case filled with antique steins?

And then, could I awake from this Prussian surrealism to find that the Pirates of Gitche Gumee have invaded town and that Super Walmart’s biggest grocery competitor has decided to ramp up their image by participating in a beef fest by constructing a theme ala The Texas Chainsaw Massacre?

Trigs Beef-a-rama Massacre

Trig's Beef-a-rama Massacre

Trigs Mighty DisplayTrig’s Mighty Display

Parade of Beefs

This weekend there will be a parade of beefs through the town.  All are invited.

ALSO: CONGRATULATIONS TO ME FOR SURPASSING 1,000 HITS / DAY!

Signage, Wissie Style

 

Wissie Signange

Wissie Signange