28th Day – Las FB

FB worked his magic on the tank today.  He’s sort of funny, like enthusiastic or idealistic or concerned without being jaded.  In addition to maintaining aquariums, he organizes anti-war protests, composes music, bass rocks in a rock/slightly-hardcore ensemble at those big clubs on the Sunset Strip, entrepreneurs as a booking agent and ventures into art direction for some horrid Z-list Sony-produced abomination.  He showed me his band’s Myspace page.   Accordingly, the band has a big South American following.  As in gun-toting revolutionaries in South America following.  I question whether FB is afraid the CIA will target his band but he counters that they’re pretty vocal about their political messages and aren’t doing anything that “underground”.  I guess they’re adopting a transparency policy.  Pretty “optimistic” if you ask me.

Milestones

Happy 10,000 page views to me!  My global indoctrination is well underway.  As you can see,  I re-vamped the site today and added some more stuff to the Bibliothek.  The photograph in the banner was taken, as the caption notes, at Abel Tasman Bay in New Zealand.  Actually, it’s a collection of four or five photographs fused together to create a panorama shot of the bay.  That was such a fun day, trasversing the open ocean, running around beaches, soaking in waterfalls and skipping around boulders with marine life, even though someone did toss half my bikini out the window when we stopped for a road construction site.  Oh New Zealand, I miss you.

Neighborhood Creeps

Okay, el L got me really freaked out and hooked on the website Family Watchdog. You can go there to check out, in detail, all of your neighborhood sex offenders. I know this is a great public service but considering there’s like 5 offenders in my neighborhood it’s also really scary.

In other news, I heard this song called NORTH AMERICAN SCUM on the radio this evening. It’s by LCD Soundsystem. I dig it.

Tortilla Tank

Mikey left me in charge of the aquarium while he’s snorkeling in Belize. I very grudgingly agreed just because I’m a good Samaritan and under the condition that I wouldn’t do any chemistry whatsoever. And he agreed to pay my portion of the electric bill this month which is a bonus. So far everything is still alive and I haven’t had any horrible flashbacks to Grossfeld’s disaster but I have to admit something.  This morning, I think I (accidentally) dropped a tortilla and some frijoles negros into the tank.

Tart

Just way too much for me. I have a feeling that I should cancel all of my evening plans and take it easy so that’s what I’m going to do, even if I know, I know, I’m going to get flack for it, especially since it would have made for an interesting blog. I’ll see if I can make up for it. Maybe by baking cookies. The issue is that March is setting up to be a very chaotic month so I’m trying to just keep it on the down low for as long as possible. I really try my best to have sort of a gently rolling life but it always turns out to be one of steep peaks and troughs. I find people whom thrive amongst chaos to be strange creatures. Does there really have to be so much noise? I like the quiet.

Disaster Bats

Before Mikey left on his bonus cruise, I made him watch BATS. I dunno, it was a lazy sort of afternoon and no one was feeling particularly motivated. I only meant to watch a minute or two, just enough time to see a bat, but got sucked in to sitting through nearly an hour of the thing. Besides, disaster movies are great ways to see who’s hurting for the benjamins… like the bad warden from SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION and Mr. Lou Bamba Diamond Phillips. BATS is, naturally, semi-gratuitously bloody and thus I’m surprised Mikey didn’t pass out. In fact, he was laughing right along with me. I can’t say that I recommend BATS but if this log line appeals to you, you might want to give it a whirl:

Moderately-budgeted disaster flick amok with cheesy scenarios, so-so effects and occasionally laugh-out-loud dialogue about a bad scientist’s experiment gone wacky on a small Texas town in the form of smart bats and the goody two shoes characters who try to save the day.

My favorite line of dialogue is from the bad scientist responding to what compelled him to create a super-bat:

“We’re scientists. That’s what we do. We make things better!”

Mikey and I were rolling. Mikey wants to be a sheriff in a disaster movie.

Razor, Man’s Best Friend

There comes a time in many men’s lives when they experience androgenetic alopecia or, in street terms, you’re balding, fool! As a young lady preparing to exit my 20s I’ve seen many men try and cope with this issue.

• Some try medicines like Propecia. I have yet to see a Propecia-taker effectively revitalize his hairline.
• Some try hair transplants. It looks weird and while some tendrils remain long, the overall effect is still noticeably thinned hair.
• Some try toupees. Hideous.
• Some just don’t care. If utilizing this method, please trim the sides frequently for an even, non-distracting look.
• Some do the gel spiky look. This really does not do much to hide the baldness but aesthetically it can lend itself to a creative, faux artsy look.
• Some do the comb-hideove which, more contemporarily, seems to originate from the midcranium and get pushed straight to the front in an attempt to fluffily hide nature’s course. This method is the one I find most problematic. Dude, no. Just don’t do it!! I beg, I mean BEG you. This really only serves to cast a bright spotlight on your gaping insecurities. Please, if your impending baldness bothers you that much just…
• TAKE A RAZOR TO IT. Britney Spears it, baby. You see those dumb commercials where the guy, Gary or Doug or some jackass name like that, has a full, luscious head of hair and comes out on top with a promotion and a woman on each arm. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who feels this way but I find a full, luscious head of hair on any man over 35 to be outright creepy. The confidence to go out proud and in control is infinitely more attractive than trying to outsmart nature.

Happy clipping.

!@*!@*!@*!

For lack of vocabulary large enough to express my complete frustrations, all I have to say is FUCKING FUCK FUCKING FAMILY.

Rocky Eats a Deer Head

This is Rocky. He and his little brother Winky found a frozen deer on the path to Das Village. Somehow the deer’s head got decapitated so they were running around the property with it. Pa wrestled the frozen head away from them but soon realized he had no where to store it without the beasts causing mischief. So Pa chucked the frozen deer head on top of Drunk Dick’s shed. Rocky and Winky then got into the deer legs but Ma and Pa thought that was okay. Pa and Ma flew back to the east coast. The frozen deer head is still on top of Drunk Dick’s shed. I suspect that when it thaws in the Spring it will be quite foul.

Pineapple Allergy

Yup, I do declare I have one. I ordered something called a Golden Pineapple Salad from Corner Bakery even though each time I vow that I will never go there again because they always screw up my order, forget to make my order and I once saw someone slicing a ham in the meat slicer while stuffing the scraps into their mouth. But their cream cheese brownies are passing-out good.

Anyway, the first time I ate the pineapple, I felt like I had a sinus infection. I chalked it up to unsanitary restaurant conditions. The second time, I thought that it was seasonal pollen. And the third time, I skipped Corner Bakery altogether and bought raw pineapple chunks from the grocery store. I feel slightly feverish and like I’m about to get a very painful sore throat. So, yup, I gotta raw pineapple allergy. I am okay, though, with eating cooked pineapple. I THINK I’m okay with pineapple from a can but I’ll have to eat a few rings to be sure. Maybe el L will supervise when she comes here.